Relentless Forward Progress

Not many people are lucky enough to see their dreams come true. You have to be patient and persevere. I make my dreams come true. There is no other way." Clarinda Brueck.
I am one of those, one of those that make their dreams come true. Making dreams come true is no small feat. As I am learning it comes with ups and downs, it comes with obstacles and barriers, it comes with winning a victory at one time and losing a battle at one time and sometimes that one time happens on the same day. It comes with learning about ourselves and our abilities as human beings to dream the impossible and not give up until we make the dream come true. Giving up is not an option, the option is only to take each day's as a new day, a new opportunity and a fresh start in looking at the dream and to  keep moving forward no matter what.  It’s about relentless forward progress and the determination to keep showing up no matter what.

                                                     

“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.”– Charlie Jones

I got a DNF at a triathlon on the 1^st November. What's a DNF you might be thinking for those not into triathlons....DID NOT FINISH. In fact I got about 200 meters into the 1500 meter swim and was pulled out of the water. Not by choice of my own, but by the amazing lifeguards/organizers of the race. Let me paint a picture for you, of what it was like. Firstly out of the 1300 athletes, there were two of us with disabilities, a guy with one of his legs amputated and me. Let’s be real it takes a lot to show up at these races, it takes a deep sense of belief, attitude, and resilience, because these races are not yet made for athletes with disabilities, so besides the physical obstacles, the perceptions of others around, the inexperience of organisers learning to work with athletes who have disabilities, its just tough out there so by the time the race starts emotionally one can be very tired. But this is part of the journey for me, and one I will keep walking in knowing it paves a small way for more people with disabilities to take on triathlons, especially here in South Africa.

Here is what happened that Sunday morning I get escorted to the water’s edge by my handlers (My dad and my Biokineticist Greg Hyson) in my wheelchair. We wait for the go ahead to get in the water. My handlers grab my arms we walk into the water, once about ankle deep I just sit down, and almost become like a seal and literally lie on my stomach and push myself off the ground to a deeper enough spot where I can kind of just chill without being too shallow. The fun part is trying to keep my legs down, because by wearing a wetsuit my legs just automatically want to float, so after struggling for a bit to find a position that's comfortable we wait for the horn to go off. Horn goes off I swim a few meters and I can't see through my water filled goggles, oh flip, what's happening, I stop swimming, I can't stand and I try lie on my back to get the water out. Water out, goggles back turn around start swimming. Water floods my goggles again, I flip over try empty and goggles back on. By this stage I have a life guard next to me asking if I am ok. I say yes, just my goggles playing games with me. Now take into account, the wind was howling, the water was full of waves, and people were being taken out because of the conditions. The next thing I know there is a jet ski next to me, wanting me to get on and be taken back to the shore, ok so I am a bit of a rebel and decide no way, I am fine to swim, it's not the conditions it’s my goggles. So I swim off away from the Jet Ski guys who want to take me back to shore. Problem....goggles once again full of water and I flip on my back to empty them and guess who is there waiting for me, the Jet Ski. This time I wasn't given any choice in the matter, pulled onto the back of the Jet Ski and delivered back to the shore. Race over. DNF. 

It felt like all the training, the travelling with all my equipment through airports, on planes, the time, was a total waste, the friends who came to support didn’t get to see my do much, but it was over and I had to accept that, I couldn’t change the circumstances but I had a choice to make, what was this going to do in my journey towards my dream,

It was strange for me, swimming is my strength in a triathlon, it's the one part of it that I have real confidence in, yet on Sunday it was the one that I couldn't get through. Did I fail, it sure felt like it for a few hours after, were there lots of questions I asked myself yes of course, did I do everything in my power to not fail, I don’t know. All I do know is that i couldn’t go back and change the situation, it was too late but what I can do is build on it for the next race. Practically, I got rid of my goggles, I will in one of my next training swims, swim without goggles so next time if this happens I will just remove my goggles and swim without them. I will believe that even though this might look like a failure, I am not a failure for trying, and each race I compete in teaches me something new, which I can use for the next race.

"Like success, failure is many things to many people. With positive mental attitude, failure is a learning experience, a rung on the ladder, and a plateau at which to get your thoughts in order to prepare to try again." W. Clement Stone

I have one more triathlon left for this year on the 11 December, before the New Year starts with many races, and lots of training, and some big stepping stones forward in my dream. I will show up at this race, I will give it all I have believing that I will get to push/run towards the finish line still believing in the power of dreaming and to never stop trying no matter what, being patient and persevering even when it’s hard. If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be fun!

“Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.” Cynthia Kersey

I have taken part in 4 triathlons since August, two of them, I couldn’t do the run because it was on sand and my race wheelchair doesn’t move in sand, but I did the swim and the cycle, another one I wrote about earlier in August, where I did most of it, but not the full distance and then this latest one where I got a DNF, so in reality I actually haven’t finished a complete triathlon yet, but I still believe my time will come, just as you should still believe your time will come, it is all a matter of patience, perseverance, relentless forward progress, never giving up and always showing up no matter what.

And so I will continue to take the DIS in disability and make sure it remains DARING INSPIRING STRONG